You are in for a treat. My mother’s fried chicken is why we had to buy my dad the extra large coffin. – Sheldon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alright that settles it, we’re going out. Do you like sushi? There’s a great little place down the street. – Leonard
I’ve never had it but there’s no harm in trying somethin’ new. – Mrs. Cooper
There’s a lot of harm in trying something new. That’s why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits. – Sheldon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is exciting. Back at home the diner on route 4 served sushi, but it’s just cut up fish sticks and a side of Uncle Ben’s.[They] put it on the menu in those Kung Fu letters but that don’t make it sushi. – Mrs. Cooper
Kung Fu letters might not be politically correct. – Leonard
Oh, I thought the one we couldn’t say was ching chong. – Mrs. Cooper
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s like they say…a cat can have kittens in the oven, but that don’t make them biscuits. – Mrs. Cooper
That reminds me of another saying…you can lead a chicken to crisco, but you can’t make your mother to fry it. – Sheldon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Want some oreos? -Leonard
Double stuffed? – Sheldon
No, regular. – Leonard
Nice, kick a man when he’s down. – Sheldon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hun, you think maybe the reason why you’re having trouble finding a guy to settle down with is because you’re letting him ride the roller coaster without buying a ticket? – Mrs. Cooper
Oh, they don’t always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups. You know, I’m going out tonight. Would it be crazy to ask you to look at the outfit I’m going to wear? – Penny
Oh not crazy at all and don’t beat yourself up. When I was your age you could have me for a car ride and a bottle of strawberry wine. – Mrs. Cooper
That will not be in this week’s email blast. – Sheldon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, I don’t know Shelly, I thought we could do a little bit of sight seein’. – Mrs. Cooper
What sight is better than your little boy embarrassing a Nobel laureate? – Sheldon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheldon, is it possible that your foul mood, or to use the clinical term…bitchiness…is because your mother isn’t making you a priority? – Amy Farrah Fowler
No. Or to use the clinical term, nuh uh. – Sheldon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you trying to suggest that my emotional problems are no different than those of a stupid person? – Sheldon
Actually, some research indicates that by not over-thinking, the less intelligent handle emotions better. – Amy Farrah Fowler
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alright Penny, your turn. – Mrs. Cooper [ Making the group pray in a church]
Okay,um… Hey God, wassup? Um, I’m good but um it would be a big help to my family if you could get my brother to stop cooking meth. But no cops…be cool. – Penny
She also goes a little overboard on the love thy neighbor…could probably use that chat you had with Mary Magdalene. Leonard, you’re up. Wasserman, you’re on deck. – Mrs. Cooper
Okay, I dunno. It’s probably a little late to ask you to make me taller. Oh um, if you could help with me and my girlfriend…she’s all the way in India…that would be great. – Leonard
Hear that? Girl trouble. Turns out we were both wrong on that front. – Mrs. Cooper [Talking to God]
How about you? – Mrs. Cooper to Howard
Ah me, no thanks I’m good. I’m really just trying not to burst into flames. – Howard
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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