Archive | 7:45 am

The Answer: Question 48

15 Oct

Today’s Question: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? as your close friend? [as your significant other?]

This is a tricky question because there are so many people I would love to meet. I need to be strategic about this…hmm…okay here it goes.

I would love to have Emma Stone as my dinner guest.

Emma is a chameleon on the screen. She can do comedy, romance, and serious drama. Like me, Emma is very witty and sarcastic. I love it. I think that dinner would be the start of an epic friendship. If not, I’d still have gotten to have an awesome dinner with one of my favorite actresses!

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I would want Oprah Winfrey as my close friend.

Not only is she a very generous and wise person, but she also knows almost EVERY CELEBRITY. I could totally ask her to introduce me to any celebrity I wanted. What’s she going to say? No? She’s Oprah, she lives to please people. I can see her saying No, only if it was for my own good not to meet a certain person. And hey, if Oprah thinks it’s a bad idea for me to meet a certain celebrity, I would definitely stay away. Oprah looks for the best in everyone, so someone has to be REALLY bad for her to say no. Oprah is a great networking tool! Plus she seems like a great person.

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Choosing my significant other is the hardest part of this question. I love so many people that I’m going to have to narrow it down to a few men before I can choose:

A) Paul Walker

B) Ryan Reynolds

Want more? Duh!

C) Chris Evans

D) Liam Hemsworth

Here’s another one just so you get a good look…

E) Chris Hemsworth (YES they are brothers!)

Just for good measure, check him out again…

That’s Chris on the left and Liam on the right.

F) Chris Pine

And Oh, More Chris Pine

How on earth am I supposed to choose just one of them? Can I agree to have an open relationship and date them all? There are six of them. I’ll give each of them a different day of the week to go out with me and I’ll relax on Sundays. Yes, that’s my answer…not just one of them…all of them. What do you think ladies? Who would you pick? Guys, sorry to put you through that, but it had to be done.

*A Special thank you to Google for providing these pictures.*

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The Comedy Corner: Boyfriends & Relationships

15 Oct

I haven’t had a boyfriend for, like, a hundred years, and I’m at a point where I could really use a guy on a Saturday for about six hours. You know what I mean? Because everything in my apartment is broken. – Karen Bergreen

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Boyfriend. That’s such a weird word. There’s no good word about someone if you’re not married. Even calling a guy you live with your boyfriend makes you sound eleven years old. Old man? If you’re not living with Willie Nelson, that one doesn’t work either. – Elayne Boosler

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We were incompatible in a lot of ways. Like for example, I was a night person, and he didn’t like me. – Wendy Liebman

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After two years I said to my boyfriend, “Either tell me your name of it’s over.” – Rita Rudner

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I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be. – Arj Barker

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My girlfriend found out I was messing around with this other chick. So she called my wife. – Corey Holcomb

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Once a relationship is underway, then I would say deafness would come in handy. Then once you’re married and have kids, paralysis. “I’d love to drive you kids to that game, but I’ve got to sit in that chair and watch football on television.” – Jerry Seinfeld

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Relationships are a lot like drugs. You develop a dependency, and if you’re not really careful you could wind up losing your house. – Mike Dugan

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You always know when the relationship is over. Little things start grating on your nerves, “Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious!” – Ellen DeGeneres

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Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. – Richard Jeni

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Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they have to find you a temp. – Bob Ettinger

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Men and women just look at life completely different. Women are playing chess; we plan relationships ten moves ahead. Meanwhile, the guy is playing checkers, thinking just one move ahead: “Jump me!” – Margot Black

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When I’m not in a relationship, I shave one leg. So when I sleep, it feels like I’m with a woman. – Garry Shandling

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Relationships don’t last anymore. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?” – Rita Rudner

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I can’t get a relationship to last longer than it takes to burn their CDs. – Margaret Smith

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*A special thanks to “The Comedy Thesaurus” by Judy Brown for providing me with these great quotes.*

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Song of the Day

15 Oct

This is the perfect weekend song! Eddie Money’s Take Me Home Tonight my feel good song of the month! Woo Hoo!

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