Today’s Question: Do you prefer being around men or women? Do your closest friends tend to be men or women?
This is the easiest question ever. I MUCH prefer being around men. My closest friends tend to be men as well. Don’t get me wrong. I have quite a few close friends who are girls. My closest gal pals are a med student and a pair of twins. HOWEVER, back in the day, when I was in high school and most of my friends were girls, I noticed that there was just so much drama in my life. It was like a rogue roller coaster that you couldn’t get off of. There was gossip, crying, backstabbing, lying… it got worse my first two years of college.
College brought with it drunken ranting, emotional breakdowns, LOTS OF BOYFRIEND SWAPPING & CHEATING, the silent treatment, power struggles, roommate spats and chaos. Let me tell you, it is one thing to go to school with crazy girls. It’s a whole other thing to live in the tiny confines of a dorm room or apartment with them.
Let me explain something to you. When female roomies are fighting, it could go one of a few ways:
1) They could give each other the silent treatment until one of them caves in; in which case they are either bashing each other to their friends and giving the death stare to each other anytime they meet or they are brooding on the inside – building up their anger like a volcano that will either erupt when someone gives in or will erupt when they’re riding the cotton pony. Extreme warning for this situation, if both roommates are holding their building anger inside and no one gives in quick enough, the proverbial excrement will hit the fan when their cycles match up and they will both explode at once.
2) Facebook fighting is a very popular coping technique for women. They act like they’re being very general or sneaky about it too. One girl will change her status to: People should really learn to stop skanking around. What she really means is, my roommate is bringing home a different guy every night and it’s pissing me off: Everyone hit like or tell me you agree with me so I feel justified or at least know that I’m the victim here.
3) They could end up playing dueling ovaries at high noon. This estrogen smack down will not be pretty. No, we are not as physical as guys in this type of situation. Usually we use sharp words and psychological warfare for greatest impact. Guys will just hit each other or let their problems go. Girls, fighting or not, size up their friends, frienemies, and competition from the moment they meet. They absorb any and all information that they could use at a further date if necessary. They learn your insecurities, remember all your secrets, pet peeves, foibles, and embarrassing moments. When high noon hits, these crazy chicks know exactly what buttons to push to make you feel terrible.
Many of you are probably thinking, sheesh, this girl is jaded (jaded? really? who says that anymore?) by her experiences with women. Not all women are like that. Those people would be half right. I am somewhat biased based on my experience, but I am a pretty observant person. My opinions come from my own experience and that of people I have observed (in person, not on TV – let’s get real – Jersey Shore does not truly represent how people live in the armpit of America [I apologize to those who live in Jersey aka the twins]). But I digress…
Let me get back to the original question here. Men, if you know the right men, can be the best people to hang out with. I learned my lesson in college. Men are the ones you want to spend most of your time with. Be sure to have some time with your gal pals, but make sure you leave behind a trail of breadcrumbs. That is not a rabbit hole you want to go down.
Back to the point, my guy friends have become my family and my greatest support system. I LOVE them all so much. Here’s why guys are the better sex to hang around with:
1) When I explain a problem I have to my guy friends, they don’t commiserate and just listen to my problem, they give me all kinds of advice and help me fix it. [Women love to complain about their problems until they're blue in the face without taking action; that just sucks because they keep feeling crummy for much longer than necessary.]
2) When something is too heavy for me to lift or too hard for me to open, I just ask they guys to help. When I need advice about guys, the BEST place to get it is from men themselves. [Women just give you advice from what their past experiences, their parents' experiences, or what Cosmo said that month.]
3) When I do something nice for my guy friends and they acknowledge it, I always feel like a million bucks. Women just expect you to go out of your way to do things for them a lot. Guys don’t really expect anything, which also makes it easier to be yourself.
4) Going out on the town with the guys is so much fun for me. I worry a lot less about my safety walking to and from a bar or club and I don’t worry as much about the new guys I chat it up with while I’m there. I know, without a doubt, that my guy friends have my back and keep an eye out for me. These guys are like the brothers I never had, but without the overbearing part.
5) Speaking of being yourself… It is so easy to relax and be yourself around your guy friends. Guys are not as judgmental as women. There is no need to impress them with how worldly you are or how expensive your purse was. None of that matters to them [ if you know the right guys] because they accept you for who you are.
6) The BEST part about having mostly guy friends is how LITTLE drama they are. If men have a problem with each other they either come out and say what’s bothering them in a nice or slightly joking way so that the other person can fix it, just let it go if it’s nothing big, or have it out with each other until someone gives in. There is no mental warfare. No stewing period. They see a problem they fix it. There aren’t grudges here. It is so refreshing to not be surrounded by drama.
All in all, I’d have to say that this round of the battle of the sexes goes to the MEN!
Tags: Facebook, High school, Jersey, Jersey Shore, People, Social rejection, Television
